Your wedding vows are a special moment between you and your partner. Also, all of your guests will be sharing this special moment with you. These vows are very important for the wedding and your entire marriage. These are the promises and commitments that you are making for your life together with your spouse. Therefore, the importance of these wedding vows cannot be overstated.
Listed below are 10 steps to help you write your perfect wedding vows.
1. Have a discussion with your future spouse. Discuss what kinds of vows you want to share. Share whether you want them to be traditional or modern in tone, serious or funny in delivery, and long or brief in length. You may also want to discuss how personal you’ll get.
2. Write down your thoughts. Set aside some time to let your thoughts flow onto a notepad. Don’t worry about writing complete sentences yet. Brainstorm for a while and write bullet points or free-flowing thoughts. Then, set your ideas aside for a few days.
3. Decide on what commitments you want to make. You can do this on your own or with your partner, but in your vows, you’ll need to include a number of promises. These can vary from heavy to light pledges of commitment to one another.
4. Consider sharing some special memories. Is there one story or moment that you want to highlight? Maybe it’s the first time you saw your partner or your first date. Perhaps it’s a tender, sweet, or funny moment that you’d like to share. This is a great way to make your vows personal and special for both of you.
5. Consider the future. What will you accomplish together as a couple? What will you strive to be for each other? Do you have specific goals you are aiming for or activities you like to do?
6. Consider your end promise. Traditional vows end with “as long as we both shall live” or “until death do us part.” You can say one of these, or find a way to make it more personal. Do you prefer “forever and ever” or “until I take my dying breath”? Either way, consider how you want to conclude your vows.
7. Begin writing your vows. Now’s the time to take all of your thoughts and ideas and create something beautiful. If you are naturally a writer, this might be somewhat easier for you. If not, try following these steps:
- Say what your future spouse means to you
- Tell them what you adore about them
- Share a story that illustrates a favorite memory or special time together
- Declare your promises
- Mention the good times (you can also mention difficult times the two of you endured)
- Anticipate the future
- Conclude with a final promise
You may find this easy to do. If not, take a look at some examples online to model. If you struggle, this doesn’t have to be done all at once. When you have your first draft complete, set it aside for a few hours or days.
8. Revise your draft. Read through what you’ve written so far and think about anything you might want to change. Now is the time to make adjustments as needed.
9. Practice with a friend. Once you’ve written what you believe will be the vows you will recite, sit down with a close friend, like your maid/matron of honor or best man, and read them aloud. This is a great opportunity to get their feedback. It’s also a great way to make sure your vows actually flow well. Practice them aloud a few times to ensure you’re able to say them well on the big day.
10. Make a clean copy. Once you’ve finalized your wording and figured out exactly what you’ll say, write out a clean version. This will be your final draft.
Additional Tips for Writing Wedding Vows
- Begin early. Don’t leave it to the last minute. Give yourself at least a week (maybe more) to write your vows. You’ll need time to collect ideas, revise drafts, and, of course, practice your final draft.
- Limit your re-writes. For some, it’s tempting to continue making changes, adding things, and removing others. If this is you, start your vow writing process by limiting the number of drafts that you will write. For example, limit your drafts to three or four, whatever makes you the most comfortable. This will help you stay focused and prevent you from taking over your whole life with your vows.
- Don’t include everything under the sun. Decide beforehand approximately how long you want your vows to be. Then limit what you say to that time. Keep them succinct and say what’s most important to you.
- Remember to say “I love you.” It’s a given that you love each other; however, in all the excitement of trying to say all that you want to say, you might forget this very important thing